“Good morning…” I greeted all I had met on my first day at school, and they replied “Hi” to me. “Hi?” I thought to myself… ‘How is “Hi” a greeting? Isn’t that a cliché way of starting a typical social media chat back home in Nigeria? Is this a reality of social media?’ I had wondered.
With a consistently failed attempt to get a “Good morning” back as a return greeting, it dawned on me that “Hi” was the way Americans greet. While trying to get over that, I discovered the American smile pandemic—Americans and people who live in America have adopted the culture of smiling at strangers. People I met across the street while jogging or along the hallway while walking down to a lecture hall frequently smiled at me once our gaze met. “Do I know them?” I had always asked myself. “Why are they smiling at me?” “Did I win a lottery that I had no idea of?” Lots of questions always went through my mind. It took me a long time to come to terms with the courtesy of smiling at strangers. Why? Africans/Nigerians do not smile at random people back home. We only smile at people we know: Our aunties, uncles, siblings, friends, and neighbours! In one of those awkward moments, I had run to chit-chat with someone who smiled at me, only for that smile on their student’s face to turn wry. She was not expecting me to come to her. I thought that smile was an invitation for a chat, not knowing it was part of the American culture. I told Stephen, my friend who is a Math Ph.D. student here at Rice, about it, and he laughed and said, “Osinachi, stop trying too hard to be their friend!”
Another shock, but a more welcoming one, was how kind and helpful everyone I met was. I don’t know if it is a Rice thing, but every westerner I have requested help from, like finding my way around the school premises, where to make necessary payments, or even confusion about my class assignments, always goes out of their way to help me. It is not common where I come from. We are used to helping people we know, but right here at Rice, everyone is always willing to help. In fact, they go out of their way to help and even follow up with you on that particular help rendered. That is one American culture I find very fascinating. For example, Xinyu and Kim Dasol, final year students in my department, came to pick me up at the Houston International Airport when I first arrived in America. They drove me to my apartment at RGA (Rice Graduate Apartment), helped me get my school ID at the RUPD (Rice University Police Department), and helped me set up my bank account and phone SIM. They made sure I was well-settled, and they kept in touch. If they were unavailable to offer me a ride to the places I needed to go before I received my first stipend, they paid for my Uber rides. Kim took me to the servery every lunchtime until she graduated. I had never experienced that much generosity in my entire life. Each time, I felt the need to pay them back in cash or kind, because nothing is exactly free where I come from. People are basically kind only to those they know. But these people, Kim and Xinyu, and the entire staff and students of my department, Art History, carried me, pampered me, and ensured I was well settled in. Rice people are very kind, and I sincerely appreciate them. I have tried and am still trying to give back all the love I have gotten since I first arrived in this Canaan-like promised land…
A more substantial wave of shock that ran deep through my veins was what Americans considered food. The portion sizes—what Americans call Texas Sized—deserve an entire article. For now, I will focus on the Western concept of food. When event fliers come, they say “free food is available.” I am always disappointed to see pizza and burgers as “food” at such events. We don’t call pizza, burgers, and sandwiches food where I come from; we call them snacks! At home, snacks are any edibles made of (wheat) flour, and we do not eat them as main meals or even desserts; we eat them in between breakfast and lunch, and lunch and dinner, while waiting for the main meal, which is usually heavy—things like vegetable soups usually hand-eaten with swallow (thick porridges made from plaintain, cassava, or yam)...and no, snacks are not brunch! Snacks include desserts modified to the African taste buds of very little or no sugar and usually very spicy and hot. For example, a typical ice cream in Africa is more creamy than sweet, and our African doughnuts have little or no sugar and lots of chili pepper. Our cakes are firmer and less sweet, tasting more like a sweet bread. A typical African does not do desserts. Only Anglicized Africans try.
Yet another shocker is how common and accessible chocolates are here! Nigerians import chocolates, which are usually expensive and considered a luxury. Snickers and M&M are luxuries you hardly find even in a typical African party. Only the affluent or people who have more to spend can afford it. Chocolate is pure gold at home. But I am getting it free from every party and reception desk I go to. I gained my first 20 pounds from chocolates! You know that feeling when you abuse something you have always considered precious, and then it’s at the tips of your fingers? That was my relationship with chocolates in my first two years in America. I can never pass a free chocolate jar without grabbing at least two!
Then came the biggest shock of my life: the abundant WiFi/Internet and phone calls at almost no cost. Back home, we pay for calls and internet on our phones, and all it a postpaid plan. You pay as you use, unlike the monthly phone bills. Our internet is also never as strong and fast as it is here. No mall or institution would provide free access to their wifi; just like chocolates, only the affluent could afford wifi. It costs about the same price as it would at home—At least #50,000 ($40). I have gotten so used to the free Wi-Fi everywhere that when I travelled back home to Nigeria for the summer last year, every app on my computer and phone stopped working because there was no free Wi-Fi!!! It made me appreciate America more.
About the author
Osinachi Okafor is a third-year Ph.D. student in Art History at Rice University, Houston, Texas, USA. She is currently a member of GSLAB (Graduate Student Library Advisory Board).
She got her B. A Fine and Applied Art at Nnamdi Azikiwe University, Awka, Anambra State, Nigeria, in 2017, where she works as a graduate assistant and a co-curator of the XX Art Exhibition annually held at Awka Museum Foundation, Nigeria.
Further reading:
Grad School 101: Make visiting weekends work for you by Emily Elia.
Coming to Rice as an international student by Utana Umezaki.
Feeling at home in the U.S. by Rosa Guerra Resendez.